This morning hugging Carlito, having fun with Anselmo and walking along the beach with Zaina I have found how deeply a smile can change your day and your life. It contaminates you’re entire being with this extreme need to smile and laugh, to rejoice with these precious diamonds. Then I start to think inside of my heart what a smile coming from heaven is capable of doing with me and this world that’s around me.
I have found that heaven shapes earth; that true transformation takes place in His heart and it contaminates in a holy way my entire being. I have set as a purpose and a goal in my life to pursue God’s smile over everything I do and every step I make. If I then achieve this through the faith and Grace that He has poured into me I will know that a pure and life changing revolution can be provoked, because a smile from heaven has hit earth.
The true transformation that is able of unveiling the eyes of my soul to see the beauty of the life that God has conceded me resides in the simplicity of believing. Believe that Your words are True and that together we can change this World. There is then a holy convocation, a pure cry from the heavens to boldness, for us to dare to believe in Hope; to believe in a Hope that we cannot see but that without a shadow of doubt we can feel. A calling that resounds through the seas, in the waves of the ocean, that compels us to become transformers of this World through the simplicity of living out what we believe.
segunda-feira, 29 de dezembro de 2008
domingo, 14 de dezembro de 2008
...
There is so much I wish to share with her; there’s so much my heart desires to experience along side of the treasure that God has made Love grow to in my heart. But still I have not yet found the right time to bring forth the dream to live out the same passion that drives my existence to that beautiful, holy, and sweet Cross that changes me every day.
God more than anyone knows my heart and how I long to grow along side of her; how I wait for that day when He will bring me that one as a gift to my heart, as a precious stone for me to hold on and keep and carry to all the secret and deepest places in Him; I wait for Him to reveal to my soul and to my heart … I wait… one day I will know and she will know as well…
Love can not be silenced…
God more than anyone knows my heart and how I long to grow along side of her; how I wait for that day when He will bring me that one as a gift to my heart, as a precious stone for me to hold on and keep and carry to all the secret and deepest places in Him; I wait for Him to reveal to my soul and to my heart … I wait… one day I will know and she will know as well…
Love can not be silenced…
waves
Waves
I find it amazingly interesting to me how one small moment is capable of transforming your entire mind set for the rest of our lives. Yesterday I thought I was someone that today I have not been able to recognize anymore; God has shaped me to a state where just like the waves are able of responding to the wind, my life has not being placed on nothing else but the stronghold foundation of His rock and through His winds the waves that water my life have been stirred up and changed the core of who I am;
Tonight in the heavens I see one of the most beautiful moons that my eyes have ever noticed before, one of those precious celestial moments where everything around stops and your entire worlds seems to revolve around the majesty of the One who created this; the greatness of a King who never settled for less than all the Glory. I can say, I am transformed, I am being transformed and I will be transformed; I don’t quite know in what or where but something deep inside of me drives me to a place of surrendering where the old me is left back, it s placed on the altar to become a living sacrifice so that out of that fire the Spirit of God may bring forth the new me…
In the Bible in I Chronicles 29 David captures the heart of God and grasps the reality that all things belong to Him and as God’s own and that gratefulness for life can revive the hearts of those around us so that they may also be able to understand that we have and are being transformed, that we are being blown by the winds of God through all the circumstances that surround our daily lives, and we have been shaped just like waves; waves of a living Love, waves of the water of life.
I find it amazingly interesting to me how one small moment is capable of transforming your entire mind set for the rest of our lives. Yesterday I thought I was someone that today I have not been able to recognize anymore; God has shaped me to a state where just like the waves are able of responding to the wind, my life has not being placed on nothing else but the stronghold foundation of His rock and through His winds the waves that water my life have been stirred up and changed the core of who I am;
Tonight in the heavens I see one of the most beautiful moons that my eyes have ever noticed before, one of those precious celestial moments where everything around stops and your entire worlds seems to revolve around the majesty of the One who created this; the greatness of a King who never settled for less than all the Glory. I can say, I am transformed, I am being transformed and I will be transformed; I don’t quite know in what or where but something deep inside of me drives me to a place of surrendering where the old me is left back, it s placed on the altar to become a living sacrifice so that out of that fire the Spirit of God may bring forth the new me…
In the Bible in I Chronicles 29 David captures the heart of God and grasps the reality that all things belong to Him and as God’s own and that gratefulness for life can revive the hearts of those around us so that they may also be able to understand that we have and are being transformed, that we are being blown by the winds of God through all the circumstances that surround our daily lives, and we have been shaped just like waves; waves of a living Love, waves of the water of life.
domingo, 7 de dezembro de 2008
JOY
I just came back from the village of Miaji and I was faced with an atmosphere of extreme joy! Not because we (akunia’s – white people) were there, but because someOne else, something else was happening in the air. The reflection of the eyes of the children and the people in the village were not because of what we have to offer them but because the Love that they were feeling. We showed the Jesus film (inteeennnseeee…. I particularly don’t like the Jesus film …) but God uses all things in all to make His name be glorified including my unlikeness unto the whole Jesus film setup, PJ – PRAISE JESUS for that! ; anyway after the movie we saw no great miracles besides a multitude of hands saying that they had understood what it means to live a Love with no barriers to experience a true joy that flows from the inside. The Chief of the village comes up to the truck, grabs the microphone and declares how amazing he found that message and the truth that He had received from it.
The next day a group of the kids came to be with us, not because we had food or water, they never asked for any food or water, or for anything at all, because that’s not what they were after, they wanted to rejoice with us, in the presence of each other, simply to be.
How many times we have broken God’s heart but still he forgives us because he simply wants us to be and to experience the true joy that flows from our inside, from His spirit. I invite you to be, to stay in his presence and taste more of that joy that doesn’t long for nothing else besides His presence, that reflects nothing else besides a Love that is capable of transforming the entire atmosphere of your environment; that is not based on how much you own but how much you’ve grown and you’ve changed from hanging around Papa, Jesus and the Holy spirit.
“ […] Life is not measured by how much you own …” Luke 12:15b
Laugh, live, LOVE!
our race
During the last month or so my life has been undone e redone by the moving presence of God. Every day that I spend here seems like parts of me are being taken apart and being put back together again. I look in the mirror and it’s hard a lot of times even to recognize who’s left of me; I have found my new identity and who I am and specially in the middle of this Holy storm found who I am not.
A questions I’ve had in the middle of everything that has been happening within me and around me: “what is our race?” What is it that’s worth living for, what is the true and only purpose of my life besides Jesus. I look at me and I see how many times I’ve tried to fulfill the emptiness that lies in the deepest places of my heart with things that apparently were godly to me. After spending time here in Mozambique I can affirm more surely not only with my words but with my heart that I understand maybe a little bit more clearly what it means to live for my neighbor.
My race is not only for me but for the ones God has placed in my life to carry them along with me. A joyful journey that goes along side with my brothers and sisters, with the ones I’ve been drawn to love, I’ve been fascinated day after day with the beauty of each one of those that God has given me the privilege to walk along side with and also to dream with those whom one day will come and run with me, all of them taking the smaller ones one their backs towards our finish line. We’re all in this holy race, in this holy journey running towards the only thing that can wholly satisfy us.
Will you race with me? Will you let me carry you on my back and have some fun along this journey? Come with me…
segunda-feira, 1 de dezembro de 2008
I wish she knew [...]
I wish she could see; i wish she could know; I wish she could hear; I wish she could know that she is the pearl in the middle of the field, that my words would not be just more simple words of appreciation amongst so many others. I wish I could express that my dream is not just to change the world by myself, but to change myself through her world as well. I wish that somehow when she sees, when she knows, when she hears, she would come to dream along side with me; she would respond, she would shine and reflect the light of the beautiful pearl in the middle of the field of my heart; that she would not run away …
I hope that one day she will realize that she is much more than a simple intercession, much more than just a prayer; more than a reminder in the sky, much more than a diamond placed in my heart by my King but an expression of His Love within me; a poem written by the Hands of a skillful writer; she's a song that is poured down from heaven and waters my heart, making me believe with all my soul that I was created to Love above all things my One True Lover and as a fruit of His love for me, compel me to love her as she deserves to be loved;
Papa, I have dedicated my life, my heart and all the love I have to you; I live only for You and You alone and all my wishes, I put at the altar as an offering of the tears that fall from my soul; tears of joy, tears of hope, tears of passion and love; May each day I become more wholly surrendered;
I wish she knew […] may my wrist be the seal of my covenant to seek You first and always and raise her up every time my heart is drawn to Your Love […]
Then again..maybe now she does know =)
I hope that one day she will realize that she is much more than a simple intercession, much more than just a prayer; more than a reminder in the sky, much more than a diamond placed in my heart by my King but an expression of His Love within me; a poem written by the Hands of a skillful writer; she's a song that is poured down from heaven and waters my heart, making me believe with all my soul that I was created to Love above all things my One True Lover and as a fruit of His love for me, compel me to love her as she deserves to be loved;
Papa, I have dedicated my life, my heart and all the love I have to you; I live only for You and You alone and all my wishes, I put at the altar as an offering of the tears that fall from my soul; tears of joy, tears of hope, tears of passion and love; May each day I become more wholly surrendered;
I wish she knew […] may my wrist be the seal of my covenant to seek You first and always and raise her up every time my heart is drawn to Your Love […]
Then again..maybe now she does know =)
In need of air...
Have you ever had the feeling of being alone even when you're surrounded by people at all times? A few nights ago I was feeling that way and the only way out that I had was to look up, look to the heavens and hope that God would maybe somehow hear my cry; and when I look at the sky the stars are blinking, I see a perfectly shining sky that reflects nothing less than how much God loves me;
In my heart there are so many expectations, so many dreams and desires that no one can fulfill them. I need to be loved by others and I need to love others, the jewels, the diamonds that I've been looking for? Well, I found them and they all shine, they blink back at me saying how much God loves me; What could be the reason to love other than love itself? but why do I still feel so lonely in the middle of all this? There seems to be a deeper cry within me for a Greater Love still; The Holy Spirit has become the breath of my life each day that goes by and more and more I realize that I can't stay one second without breathing otherwise I'll feel lifeless in my spirit; Papa, come be with me, don't let me feel lonely; don't let me take another breath that is not blown out of You.
In my heart there are so many expectations, so many dreams and desires that no one can fulfill them. I need to be loved by others and I need to love others, the jewels, the diamonds that I've been looking for? Well, I found them and they all shine, they blink back at me saying how much God loves me; What could be the reason to love other than love itself? but why do I still feel so lonely in the middle of all this? There seems to be a deeper cry within me for a Greater Love still; The Holy Spirit has become the breath of my life each day that goes by and more and more I realize that I can't stay one second without breathing otherwise I'll feel lifeless in my spirit; Papa, come be with me, don't let me feel lonely; don't let me take another breath that is not blown out of You.
sábado, 22 de novembro de 2008
Great is my Papa. Your love is greater than my life, almost every second I feel your spirit inviting me to taste and see how good your truly are, not just to think of it but to taste your presence, to taste your love. All I know, all I am is only revealed by your majesty and intimate love for me and that takes all the yoke off of my shoulders and makes me lay down in your chest and wait for Your voice to tell me who I am.
I feel your love like rolling waters that come down a river and hit in the rocks of my heart and through time these rocks start becoming smooth. Your love shapes my heart with your rolling waters. It turns my heart and my soul into a smooth surface. You give me hope, you can make me love again, you can make me fly above the clouds of my own humanity and see from your perspective how good you've made life, taste your presence and your spirit in me.
I wanna be like a child. Go back to my inocence. But so many times I'm taken away by my desire to grow up and to become independent; then I realize that I stop trusting and believing. I can't live without your love. I can't live without your embrace papa. Come and let me be the reason of Your smile.
[...] let us press on to know Him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." [...]
He will come! =)
I feel your love like rolling waters that come down a river and hit in the rocks of my heart and through time these rocks start becoming smooth. Your love shapes my heart with your rolling waters. It turns my heart and my soul into a smooth surface. You give me hope, you can make me love again, you can make me fly above the clouds of my own humanity and see from your perspective how good you've made life, taste your presence and your spirit in me.
I wanna be like a child. Go back to my inocence. But so many times I'm taken away by my desire to grow up and to become independent; then I realize that I stop trusting and believing. I can't live without your love. I can't live without your embrace papa. Come and let me be the reason of Your smile.
[...] let us press on to know Him. As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth." [...]
He will come! =)
terça-feira, 11 de novembro de 2008
Love to the end
I just came back from a 3 day trip to a small village called Minhuene in the district of Ankuabe. What God did to me no words could fully express, I have tried to find them but there is nothing that compares to the acting and dynamic power of God's TRUE LOVE moving. I feel like the old Paulo is not there anymore and at every second that goes by something new dies in me and a new reality comes forth; everything has been a reason for me to burst into tears because I'm overwhelmed with the intensity of God's LOVE for me. He loves me so much and yet I am so ungrateful; he has given me so much and still I raise my hands and complain that I don't have enough; He has given us more than enough, more than sufficient, abundantly, plentifully but it's so much easier to be oblivious but once you're faced with a Holy spirit mirror in front of you everything changes. I have much that I could write but I challenge you today to take a bold step and dare to LOVE. I dare you to love someone, beyond the differences, beyond your walls and barriers. I once heard:" Love until it hurts, then there will be no more hurt simply love" . For the past days I've been confronted by God with His LOVE and how mighty, powerful and yet gentle and sweet is his love and it frightens me to know that He is capable of Loving me despite of all the times I've neglected him but it also motivates me to LOVE, it compels me to LOVE others. If Jesus gave his life for me why can't I give mine to others, if Jesus gave me his heart why can't I surrender mine to others? We can change the world through God's grace and love, join hearts with me, lets dare to Love where no one wants to take steps...
@>----
@>----
Imagine yourself in a small boat in the middle of the ocean; You have been sailing following the directions you had but suddenly you find yourself lost and there's nothing around you but water. You stand up, look up to the sky and think:" what now?" What is there to do besides diving into the water and waiting? A lot of times in life we'll face situations when there seems to be no way out; You look around and you think:" God! What's gonna happen now? " and lately I've been feeling God's voice just whisper in my heart: " just dive! dive into my Arms" . The best places in life to be found in are when the only option we have is God or God.
The Bible says in Hebrews 4:11 that even for us to rest and wait in God it takes effort because it requires us giving up our options, following directions that we don't always know where its leading us and when we think we're lost we have no other option but to dive. Dive and wait for God's waves to bring you to shore, bring you to where He wants you to be. I invite you today to dive deeper and to rest in Him despite of all the work that might be!
The Bible says in Hebrews 4:11 that even for us to rest and wait in God it takes effort because it requires us giving up our options, following directions that we don't always know where its leading us and when we think we're lost we have no other option but to dive. Dive and wait for God's waves to bring you to shore, bring you to where He wants you to be. I invite you today to dive deeper and to rest in Him despite of all the work that might be!
sábado, 25 de outubro de 2008
will live to seach you out
Your treasures
I will find
May Your Kingdom come forth in me
Like the fruit of Your love
Your Love has cloaked me
with divine drops
sweet blood of Jesus
Glorious lamb
Holy Passion
You`ve loved me so
A love that surrender
edendless love for my soul
I am in Beira, a 3 day trip on the back of a truck from Pemba. I think I will return to Pemba monday or tuesday; please pray for me and as soon as I am established I will try to post some of my experiences; so far I`ve prayed for one deaf and one blind woman, they were both healed by the Love and Divine Grace of my Lover, Jesus... =D
I love you
Your treasures
I will find
May Your Kingdom come forth in me
Like the fruit of Your love
Your Love has cloaked me
with divine drops
sweet blood of Jesus
Glorious lamb
Holy Passion
You`ve loved me so
A love that surrender
edendless love for my soul
I am in Beira, a 3 day trip on the back of a truck from Pemba. I think I will return to Pemba monday or tuesday; please pray for me and as soon as I am established I will try to post some of my experiences; so far I`ve prayed for one deaf and one blind woman, they were both healed by the Love and Divine Grace of my Lover, Jesus... =D
I love you
will live to seach you out
Your treasures
I will find
May Your Kingdom come forth in me
Like the fruit of Your love
Your Love has cloaked me
with divine drops
sweet blood of Jesus
Glorious lamb
Holy Passion
You`ve loved me so
A love that surrender
edendless love for my soul
I am in Beira, a 3 day trip on the back of a truck from Pemba. I think I will return to Pemba monday or tuesday; please pray for me and as soon as I am established I will try to post some of my experiences; so far I`ve prayed for one deaf and one blind woman, they were both healed by the Love and Divine Grace of my Lover, Jesus... =D
I love you
Your treasures
I will find
May Your Kingdom come forth in me
Like the fruit of Your love
Your Love has cloaked me
with divine drops
sweet blood of Jesus
Glorious lamb
Holy Passion
You`ve loved me so
A love that surrender
edendless love for my soul
I am in Beira, a 3 day trip on the back of a truck from Pemba. I think I will return to Pemba monday or tuesday; please pray for me and as soon as I am established I will try to post some of my experiences; so far I`ve prayed for one deaf and one blind woman, they were both healed by the Love and Divine Grace of my Lover, Jesus... =D
I love you
sexta-feira, 17 de outubro de 2008
luku orera!
It is amazing that I have been here for only 1 week and I already feel like a new person. My heart has been so crushed and I've come to realize how dependent I have to be on God`s Love and Power if I want to be His Love to others. At the same time that I've been pouring love into everyone's heart that I see around the lovesickness in me for more of Him grows at each minute. The windows of my eyes have been broken and I can`t hold back the rivers that have been flowing from me, tears after tears I come to be confronted with who I am and most specially with whom I am not; God has been showing himself powerfully by putting me in front of a spiritual mirror and making me see and understand who I have been designed to be.
There is nothing that I can pour into others that I haven't first seeked in secret. Everything in my life has to be a result of intimacy and of my relationship with Him and the more I try to take this by my own hands I realize that the more tired and worn out I become because the true Strength can only come from my Lover, from my Jesus, from His Joy which is manifested in the smiles of Dino, or the sincere hugs of Jose, Abdul, Antonio, through Emanuel and Kassya, through all my new mozambican brothers who run to be screaming " mano Paulo, mano Paulo" .
kenan pella iesu! luku orera! (I want Jesus! God is good!)
tifo oreriheni (Spirit bless you!)
luku orera!
It is amazing that I have been here for only 1 week and I already feel like a new person. My heart has been so crushed and I've come to realize how dependent I have to be on God`s Love and Power if I want to be His Love to others. At the same time that I've been pouring love into everyone's heart that I see around the lovesickness in me for more of Him grows at each minute. The windows of my eyes have been broken and I can`t hold back the rivers that have been flowing from me, tears after tears I come to be confronted with who I am and most specially with whom I am not; God has been showing himself powerfully by putting me in front of a spiritual mirror and making me see and understand who I have been designed to be.
There is nothing that I can pour into others that I haven't first seeked in secret. Everything in my life has to be a result of intimacy and of my relationship with Him and the more I try to take this by my own hands I realize that the more tired and worn out I become because the true Strength can only come from my Lover, from my Jesus, from His Joy which is manifested in the smiles of Dino, or the sincere hugs of Jose, Abdul, Antonio, through Emanuel and Kassya, through all my new mozambican brothers who run to be screaming " mano Paulo, mano Paulo" .
kenan pella iesu! luku orera! (I want Jesus! God is good!)
tifo oreriheni (Spirit bless you!)
13/10 - There is more
"I will get up now and go about the city, though its streets and squares; I will search for the one my heart loves. So I looked for him but did not find him. The watchmen found me as they made their rounds in the city. Have you seen the one my heart loves? Scarcely I passed them when I found the one my heart loves!" Songs of Solomon 3:2-4
The more I have the chance to spend time with my new Mozambican brothers and grow along with them the more my heart goes desperate for the One it loves. God, where are you? I have discovered that the essence and the reality of who Jesus truly is, is manifested through the cities, the squares; And I will only be able to find Him when I go seek him. I have seen God more in the eyes of the small children ofr the simple village people in the past 2 days than I've experienced anywhere else in my entire life;
I am little by little starting to find the diamonds hidden in the hearts of each one here. Diamonds of Love, Grace and Joy. God has been speaking to me strongly about always having plenty to give me despite of however much I desire from Him; He is an eternal and everlasting God with a never ending resource to pour over me with a constant renewal and refreshment. So I speak hope and abundance to all who read this, God has more than we can imagine. God has always more to fulfill all our expectations and go even beyond them.
There is more! I have found the one my heart loves!
The more I have the chance to spend time with my new Mozambican brothers and grow along with them the more my heart goes desperate for the One it loves. God, where are you? I have discovered that the essence and the reality of who Jesus truly is, is manifested through the cities, the squares; And I will only be able to find Him when I go seek him. I have seen God more in the eyes of the small children ofr the simple village people in the past 2 days than I've experienced anywhere else in my entire life;
I am little by little starting to find the diamonds hidden in the hearts of each one here. Diamonds of Love, Grace and Joy. God has been speaking to me strongly about always having plenty to give me despite of however much I desire from Him; He is an eternal and everlasting God with a never ending resource to pour over me with a constant renewal and refreshment. So I speak hope and abundance to all who read this, God has more than we can imagine. God has always more to fulfill all our expectations and go even beyond them.
There is more! I have found the one my heart loves!
the day I fell in love (11/10)
Today I arrived in Pemba, a small city in the northern part of Mozambique. Through the past months God has been taking me through moments when I've been pushed to a place where I have no control over my life; God has me in all ways and nothing in my life that exists outside of his control I want anymore. It is incredible how everything I look at here in Pemba reflects God and points me in his direction.
Today I fell in love. I fell in love with my Maker, with the One that is the only purpose of my life. I feel in love with a nation that has become mine, I feel in love with a sincere smile of a little kid who wants nothing else but a hug. I have started to find the diamonds that God has set apart for me. I still feel empty on my inside and desperate to just be with Him but I have seen my Jesus everywhere around. Mozambique has made me fall in love like I haven't been in a long time. I don't want Jesus to only carry your love, but to be that Love for these diamonds, I know that from me I have nothing but with you I have beyond everything.
God, I am yours. take all of me, please come. Come and rip from my heart everything that still pushes your Holy Spirit away. Thank you Papa.
Today I fell in love. I fell in love with my Maker, with the One that is the only purpose of my life. I feel in love with a nation that has become mine, I feel in love with a sincere smile of a little kid who wants nothing else but a hug. I have started to find the diamonds that God has set apart for me. I still feel empty on my inside and desperate to just be with Him but I have seen my Jesus everywhere around. Mozambique has made me fall in love like I haven't been in a long time. I don't want Jesus to only carry your love, but to be that Love for these diamonds, I know that from me I have nothing but with you I have beyond everything.
God, I am yours. take all of me, please come. Come and rip from my heart everything that still pushes your Holy Spirit away. Thank you Papa.
quarta-feira, 8 de outubro de 2008
undone
You know the feeling when you're excited and anticipating all the great experiences and things that are prepared for you but at the same time you just feel really really strong in your heart that you're simply not ready for any of it? The closer in that the day comes the more I feel unprepared for everything. I remember I used to pray asking God to make me feel certain and sure and filled with His assurance and presence when the time came for me to step out and walk upon all the promises and things He shared with me but now that through my human eyes I see so many clear directions from God showing me that the time is arriving I feel empty inside, I feel unprepared, undone, uncertain of what I'm actually suppose to do.
And I just feel the Spirit of God pushing me out of my comfort and almost every hour that goes by confronting me with Truths and revelations that break my heart and make me see that I have nothing from my own self and that I have to feel empty on my inside because in the bottom line God has me, He is the ONLY ANSWER to all the questions I've always made myself, He is the only one capable of fulfilling what my heart longs for and I'm not really suppose to know what I'm gonna do, or if I'm not ready but I have to know that I'm am His and He is mine, and today I know that I know that I know that I know that only through my surrender I can achieve the dreams that were craved in my heart by the flame of God's love.
"Give it all up baby prince, because I wanna give you My Kingdom"
And I just feel the Spirit of God pushing me out of my comfort and almost every hour that goes by confronting me with Truths and revelations that break my heart and make me see that I have nothing from my own self and that I have to feel empty on my inside because in the bottom line God has me, He is the ONLY ANSWER to all the questions I've always made myself, He is the only one capable of fulfilling what my heart longs for and I'm not really suppose to know what I'm gonna do, or if I'm not ready but I have to know that I'm am His and He is mine, and today I know that I know that I know that I know that only through my surrender I can achieve the dreams that were craved in my heart by the flame of God's love.
"Give it all up baby prince, because I wanna give you My Kingdom"
domingo, 5 de outubro de 2008
the silence of love...
I have finally bought the flight ticket to Mozambique. I have 5 more days until I leave towards the unknown. What is most amazing about the whole process of getting here is how empty I feel inside and unworthy. Unworthy of being gracefully blessed with some people around me, with blessings and favor from God. I have learned to listen to God in the silence of his voice.
You know what it feels like when you have a dream and desperately seek God above everything and everyone in your life and when you come before Him to hear his voice, you hear nothing but the beat of your heart? God, where are you? Why does it seem like you've forsaken me? And in truth it wasn't the beat of my heart I was listening to, but the beat of His heart, but I was oblivious to the fact that if I want to follow his voice anywhere I have to taste the sweetness of His silent words, or His breath. Understand how hard but overwhelmingly fulfilling it can be to walk not seeing anything or hearing anything but following a word that was given to you years ago; that is what God has been doing to me and little by little when I start realizing and noticing that the sound of His heart was what I was hearing all this time I start also seeing His hands moving once again and those smalls beats turn into melodies that are so sweet; So sweet that I can only fathom such sweetness after spending time in silence.
I today understand better that if my Jesus was silent with me it was only because He wanted me to truly know it was His voice that I was hearing. He wanted me to taste the honey of His words when they came and feel in my innermost how much He loves me.
"shuuuu..be silence my beloved. I want you to hear My Heart."
You know what it feels like when you have a dream and desperately seek God above everything and everyone in your life and when you come before Him to hear his voice, you hear nothing but the beat of your heart? God, where are you? Why does it seem like you've forsaken me? And in truth it wasn't the beat of my heart I was listening to, but the beat of His heart, but I was oblivious to the fact that if I want to follow his voice anywhere I have to taste the sweetness of His silent words, or His breath. Understand how hard but overwhelmingly fulfilling it can be to walk not seeing anything or hearing anything but following a word that was given to you years ago; that is what God has been doing to me and little by little when I start realizing and noticing that the sound of His heart was what I was hearing all this time I start also seeing His hands moving once again and those smalls beats turn into melodies that are so sweet; So sweet that I can only fathom such sweetness after spending time in silence.
I today understand better that if my Jesus was silent with me it was only because He wanted me to truly know it was His voice that I was hearing. He wanted me to taste the honey of His words when they came and feel in my innermost how much He loves me.
"shuuuu..be silence my beloved. I want you to hear My Heart."
sábado, 20 de setembro de 2008
look up a the rain...
daisy, give yourself away
look up at the rain
the beautiful display
of power and surrender
giving us today
when you yourself away...
It's so hard to let go... To let go of my desires, of my dreams, of my emotions, to understand that there is a time when I must let go of people and feelings that have once filled my heart. Today driving back home I was looking at the sky and you could see some stars shining from in between the clouds and the rain drops and how mighty and giving the rain can be; If my desire is to see God raining down with His love and grace upon me and the ones around me then I am also called to be a rain and to give myself away, to surrender things that I've taken as mine so I can receive drops of what God has for me.
The rain may seem easy but it's hard; it's demanding, it requires a state of emptiness, of giving yourself away. It has been hard for me to have to let some people who are dear to me go and every day a small piece of me dies but from this death a new life arises. A life driven by love and total dependence not on me but on who God is through me.
Daddy, please help me to let these things and these people simply go, let me dettach the parts of my heart that need to be closely attached to you; and one day if you Will bring them back to me but each day I know more and more that the only one worth going after is You. It can be very hard but to have the chance to look into Your eyes of Love makes everything worth it. I prefer to be an anonymous intercessor than a frustrated lover of the ones that are part of me.
I love you, I am Yours and I don't want to be no one else's. More than ever I know for Whom I was meant for.
look up at the rain
the beautiful display
of power and surrender
giving us today
when you yourself away...
It's so hard to let go... To let go of my desires, of my dreams, of my emotions, to understand that there is a time when I must let go of people and feelings that have once filled my heart. Today driving back home I was looking at the sky and you could see some stars shining from in between the clouds and the rain drops and how mighty and giving the rain can be; If my desire is to see God raining down with His love and grace upon me and the ones around me then I am also called to be a rain and to give myself away, to surrender things that I've taken as mine so I can receive drops of what God has for me.
The rain may seem easy but it's hard; it's demanding, it requires a state of emptiness, of giving yourself away. It has been hard for me to have to let some people who are dear to me go and every day a small piece of me dies but from this death a new life arises. A life driven by love and total dependence not on me but on who God is through me.
Daddy, please help me to let these things and these people simply go, let me dettach the parts of my heart that need to be closely attached to you; and one day if you Will bring them back to me but each day I know more and more that the only one worth going after is You. It can be very hard but to have the chance to look into Your eyes of Love makes everything worth it. I prefer to be an anonymous intercessor than a frustrated lover of the ones that are part of me.
I love you, I am Yours and I don't want to be no one else's. More than ever I know for Whom I was meant for.
terça-feira, 16 de setembro de 2008
not enough...
Have you ever felt like giving up everything you have? just surrendering everything.. Like a feeling that you wanna pull your heart and your inside and give it away and scream of how much you want to Love the first person that walks before you but you know that you're not capable of doing that alone? I desperately want to start seeing the power of God moving more than it is now, I come to my knees and I fearfully feel like my heart is going to burst out of me;
God I pursuit you with all my strength and hunger but it still isn't enough, I need more; show me what I can give to you because I want to; I don't wanna keep anything for myself besides You; a shout in me, Vox Dei, voice of God, breath of my life, the very meaning of everything that I can think, where are you? Consume me entirely. Let me be a burning torch consumed by Your Love for the world to see... please hear my cry, because I can't stand another day without becoming One with You papa...
God I pursuit you with all my strength and hunger but it still isn't enough, I need more; show me what I can give to you because I want to; I don't wanna keep anything for myself besides You; a shout in me, Vox Dei, voice of God, breath of my life, the very meaning of everything that I can think, where are you? Consume me entirely. Let me be a burning torch consumed by Your Love for the world to see... please hear my cry, because I can't stand another day without becoming One with You papa...
sábado, 13 de setembro de 2008
Life!
For this past 2 weeks God has been teaching me more about the power of my words and how the authority that I have in certain areas are a result of the living experience that His spirit pushes me to go through! Many things have been happening and the excitement and anticipation grows in me; I have met new people and learned that there are many human desires that I might have to sacrifice in this new season of my life but they will all be worth the precious chance to be where I know I am suppose to; Every moment has had a special touch and sweetness to it, every day a new shine, my heart has grown in love and been taught to be loved by a gift He has given to me;
Despite of all the things I will have to let go, I know that the changes and transformations that have been going on within me will go on and will mold me into the servant and lover I've always dreamed to be; Like someone really special asked me the other day:"Would you live in a cold place because of the sun?" yes! the answer remits me to a deeper questioning as to what point would I be willing to go and what would I dispense my will to fulfill a desire that warms up my heart and firstly God's heart? The response to this is anywhere, anything, all I have belongs to God and I have made the choice to give up all my rights and desires to retain as mine His; as a simple and wonderful consequence the colors shine brighter, the air seems cooler, the light that shines from my princess eyes are more pure, and the reality of a Kingdom invisible becomes so visible and touchable that all things gain a new taste, a new meaning, a new purpose;
I invite you today to live for the Glory of God, to live life knowing that despite of all the struggles and hard times that we all face we understand that God finds ways to shine His Glory to us and prove His never ending Love; come with me and experience this delivering Grace, that turns life into a sweet sweet sweet love story!
=)
Despite of all the things I will have to let go, I know that the changes and transformations that have been going on within me will go on and will mold me into the servant and lover I've always dreamed to be; Like someone really special asked me the other day:"Would you live in a cold place because of the sun?" yes! the answer remits me to a deeper questioning as to what point would I be willing to go and what would I dispense my will to fulfill a desire that warms up my heart and firstly God's heart? The response to this is anywhere, anything, all I have belongs to God and I have made the choice to give up all my rights and desires to retain as mine His; as a simple and wonderful consequence the colors shine brighter, the air seems cooler, the light that shines from my princess eyes are more pure, and the reality of a Kingdom invisible becomes so visible and touchable that all things gain a new taste, a new meaning, a new purpose;
I invite you today to live for the Glory of God, to live life knowing that despite of all the struggles and hard times that we all face we understand that God finds ways to shine His Glory to us and prove His never ending Love; come with me and experience this delivering Grace, that turns life into a sweet sweet sweet love story!
=)
terça-feira, 2 de setembro de 2008
12 puritan principles for a spiritual jorney...
1. I admit to be incapable in front of my traumas, emotions and compulsive behaviors that turn my life ungovernable...
2. I was led to believe that a power above me could bring back my own sanity.
3. I've decided to surrender my life and my will to God's hand.
4. I've made a detailed and fearless moral review of myself.
5. I admit before God, before myself and to any other human being the exact nature of all my mistakes and flaws
6. I've made myself entirely available to let God remove all my deviations in character and personality.
7. I've humbly presented myself begging that He would remove all my imperfections according to His purpose.
8. I've written down every person that I've sinned against and proposed in my heart to heal all those wounds.
9. I've made direct and incisive reparations to any of those people whenever possible.
10. I continued evaluating my life and whenever I found myself to be wrong I promptly and openly admitted so.
11. I seek through prayer and meditation to come closer to God, asking Him to know His truth and Will for my life and the Grace to live by such.
12. Having experienced a spiritual awakening as a result of these principles, I seek to take this to others and practice spiritual disciplines that will strengthen the Truth of the Word of God in different aspects of my life...
Soli Deo Gloria
2. I was led to believe that a power above me could bring back my own sanity.
3. I've decided to surrender my life and my will to God's hand.
4. I've made a detailed and fearless moral review of myself.
5. I admit before God, before myself and to any other human being the exact nature of all my mistakes and flaws
6. I've made myself entirely available to let God remove all my deviations in character and personality.
7. I've humbly presented myself begging that He would remove all my imperfections according to His purpose.
8. I've written down every person that I've sinned against and proposed in my heart to heal all those wounds.
9. I've made direct and incisive reparations to any of those people whenever possible.
10. I continued evaluating my life and whenever I found myself to be wrong I promptly and openly admitted so.
11. I seek through prayer and meditation to come closer to God, asking Him to know His truth and Will for my life and the Grace to live by such.
12. Having experienced a spiritual awakening as a result of these principles, I seek to take this to others and practice spiritual disciplines that will strengthen the Truth of the Word of God in different aspects of my life...
Soli Deo Gloria
segunda-feira, 1 de setembro de 2008
"Wir sein Pettler, Hoc est Verum"
The more I seek God the more I find not to know anything about Him. For these past times my quest has been towards finding out who I am, but what I've discovered that who I am is not the right question that I should have been making but instead who Is God in me? My identity can only be truly revealed in Jesus Christ and outside of Him all things lose their value.
In the Bible whenever God called someone out the first step was to reveal who they are. David, son of Jesse; Saul, son of Kish. Jesus, son of the carpenter; The world tries to create a picture of who I am based on the world around me, but only when the transforming Love of God comes people will look and see David, Saul and Jesus, sons of the living God; once again I turn to my Creator and ask Him to show me who I am, but in my human nature I go off trying to find that somewhere else or in someone else, maybe in my gifts... maybe my talents or even my heart can tell me who I am; but none of these seem to fulfill my thirst.
And wherever I go, whatever I do, I always come back to the same place; God is the meaning of my life, he is my identity. But I realize even more that in my life I've never been able to give anything but always receive; my salvation, even what I name to be my love for others and for God is granted to me firstly from God; then who I am? I have found a clue to the answer in the last words of someone who hunted and pursued a merciful God for his entire life. Someone who tried the best he could to be a perfect saint and understood that by his own will he would never be able to hardly even breath; He understood that his entire life was nothing but a small drop in the ocean of God's Grace and all He could do was surrender to the mighty Love that haunted his human mind.
"We are beggars, That is the Truth" ("Wir sein Pettler, Hoc est Verum") - Martin Luther
"Here I stand. I can do no other. ..My consciousness is captive to the Word of God... God help me. Amen."
In the Bible whenever God called someone out the first step was to reveal who they are. David, son of Jesse; Saul, son of Kish. Jesus, son of the carpenter; The world tries to create a picture of who I am based on the world around me, but only when the transforming Love of God comes people will look and see David, Saul and Jesus, sons of the living God; once again I turn to my Creator and ask Him to show me who I am, but in my human nature I go off trying to find that somewhere else or in someone else, maybe in my gifts... maybe my talents or even my heart can tell me who I am; but none of these seem to fulfill my thirst.
And wherever I go, whatever I do, I always come back to the same place; God is the meaning of my life, he is my identity. But I realize even more that in my life I've never been able to give anything but always receive; my salvation, even what I name to be my love for others and for God is granted to me firstly from God; then who I am? I have found a clue to the answer in the last words of someone who hunted and pursued a merciful God for his entire life. Someone who tried the best he could to be a perfect saint and understood that by his own will he would never be able to hardly even breath; He understood that his entire life was nothing but a small drop in the ocean of God's Grace and all He could do was surrender to the mighty Love that haunted his human mind.
"We are beggars, That is the Truth" ("Wir sein Pettler, Hoc est Verum") - Martin Luther
"Here I stand. I can do no other. ..My consciousness is captive to the Word of God... God help me. Amen."
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