webaddress change

I'll be posting from now on in paulovieira.wordpress.com =)

Fire!
Paulo

breaking Grace...

Each day I come to a point of breaking where I realize that the answer to most of my questions reside in Your Grace; Your Love, itself, can only be received because of Your Grace, so I see more and more that this Grace is the door that makes me experience transformation.

Paul alway spoke about Grace(charis) as a divine influence upon my heart and it's direct influence in my life, including gratitude. Gratitude is then an act of faith and not a hypocrite attitude, in the sense as to where when I express my gratitude in circumstances that have nothing to be grateful about, I am taking a step in faith and calling forth Your Kingdom upon that situation. The abundance and fullness of my life is a direct result of the grasp of my heart by Your spirit. If you don't come then what's it worth? So God, give me faith to receive your grace and let go of things that are be beyond my reach.

"
You've sealed me with Your Love
You've called me Son
Father of such Love, you found me
The hope has renewed a flame for you in me...
"

a misunderstood understanding...

Recently talking to a friend that has daily grown in my heart I've realized that there's so much that I've been going through that can be overcomed if I'm willing to surrender my own desire for a knowledge that is meant to be unknown, to unconver seasons that are still hidden for my life; and understand that despite of it being awfully hard to write it down and express the foreign realms that my heart has been visiting in this journey called life there is a song that is echoed in each of our actions, atitudes, struggles and trials, if we just dare to step out and live it out loud then we ourselves would be able to hear the melodies that God has been singing through us;

During a season of apparent confusion where nothing seems to quite work out, where lights that before were leading signs become glimpses of a distant glory, where rivers of revelations turn drastically into deserts, one thing I've been asking for is understanding; Understanding that can be translated to whos, hows and whys; to questions that come to deviate my focus from everything around me and turn to me and my own personal universe; but for moments I'm reminded of 2 worlds that live in me and around me and drawing my attention once again to God, I find in His word a proverb and take it as an answer to my problems: "... the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding(pv.9.10b)"

Then I will find understanding, pursue it with all I have, acquire knowledge of You, oh God; but strangely enough the more knowledge I seek, the farther away I fathom myself, the more lost and uncomprehensible things become; maybe there's something missing, maybe there's more than to pursue simply the knowledge of the Holy One; I once again fall back into this season of confusion; perharps understanding has misunderstood my selfish purpose.

Oh God after spending so much time eroding from the lack of being with You, where can I find you? My Heart has lost its desire for understanding, but give me at least one answer; Surprisingly, at the point of breaking You come across me and I'm found by Your Grace once again, and by Your spirit whispering and piercing through me


[..] "Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is known by God. [...]" I co. 8:1

I am taken in your hands and feeling completely undone I cry out for something, for someone to hear me. God? I have thought I knew all this, but I've been oblivious to the one thing you've wanted from me: Agapé! All this time, i've stepped out of that flame of love and have pursued a way with my mind and failed to obtain undertanding;

But if you are Love, how can I love you if not through You? When I turn to Paul, he meant something else, deeper I think. The man who loves God "ginōskō" by God. Ginosko means to be known, but it means more it means to be assured, to be able to speak to, to feel and to obtain understanding; How to feel you? How to speak to you? Why have I not understanding of this season? My hows and whys find an answer to the "who" I had lost out of my sight...

I am made to love You. I am in debt of Love. Let all my questions find the one response that meets them all: Your Love. I have learned to know nothing, I have lost all my knowledge, of my personal kingdom and my self-centered revelation, to love You, humbly and humanly, with all my selfish attempts to become better than me, with all my unconcious atitudes that cancel my ability to receive your Grace to my heart, with all that, I'm here God. I just want to love you; not wanting to obtain understanding, or answers, because they would all just come back to You;

they would all just come back to You...

I haven't given up God..

kisses
- Your son

echoes of majesty...

Sometimes I feel as if Heaven echoes back what it hears from Earth.

"God! I need you"
-"Paulo, I need you"

"God, where are you? "
-Paulo, where are you? "

"Why have you forsaken me?"
-"Why have you forsaken me? "

"God, above everything I give you my heart"
-"Paulo, above everything I gave you my life; now my heart is all yours"

"Come!"
-"Please come"

"God? I love you"
-

You are...

You are, You are
The reason to believe
that one day, what a beautiful day,
this nation will be changed.

You are, You are
The everlasting light
The holy man from Israel
My sweet love

How can I try to walk
neglecting your overwhelming love
If even before I could understand
You came and surrendered yourself for me

Come and be that consuming fire
The seal of my heart
That flame that comes and burns
in the deepest places of who I am.

"un"Glory experience

After spending a month away from You and your word, I've discovered many things about me and who I truly am. A man without God or any feeling that connects him with something above becomes like a survivor in a world that has lost it's purpose, where every day comes and goes with no light or colors. We become dominated by the routine and focused only in our personal desires.

I hope and believe that never again will I do such an experience. If Your desire is to turn my life into an experience of Glory then I have come to see these past times as the times of vases of dishonor and chains; but without a shadow of doubt I have come to understand a little bit more the desperation of my generation, the cry that Jesus had in him when he felt forsaken and abandoned; so many that feel as if they're left to fate without perceiving the reality and Royalty of Your Love, so pure yet intense.

We can't understand your love, because our world has been transformed by the lack of it...Sin is capable of deforming our essence and taking away the only pleasure that is truly capable of satisfying, to be drawn closer to You.

It has been more than 6 months since my heart has felt what it means to be Home; Ever since I have stepped the land of my nation I have faced temptations and striving that are taking place so deep in my soul. Free me! When will you come? my Love, my Rock, when will you come? The rains of early spring announce a new season, when will your waters come over my heart? Start this legacy that you've promised me; start this revolution of love...

for a future generation...

"Hear my prayer, O LORD; let my cry for help come to you.
Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly.

For my days vanish like smoke;my bones burn like glowing embers.
My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food.
Because of my loud groaning I am reduced to skin and bones.
I am like a desert owl, like an owl among the ruins.
I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof.

All day long my enemies taunt me; those who rail against me use my name as a curse.
For I eat ashes as my food and mingle my drink with tears
because of your great wrath, for you have taken me up and thrown me aside.
My days are like the evening shadow; I wither away like grass. " Psalm 102:1-12

The hardest challenge that one can face is not the lack of money or any other needs, believe me I've been going through a whole set of things that I've been lacking and needs that aren't been met but when I look at all of them there's nothing that hurts my heart more than God's absence; or my inability to feel Him; I cry out for just one touch, one glimpse, one answer, hear my cry Yahweh! but all I see is darkness, and all the circumstances in my life point the other way; I try to find an answer but nothing fits and I cry why? I try to reach for a Hope that today is lost in my heart believing that maybe soon it'll stand renewed; but I desperately need him to look to me, don'f forsake me holy spirit; You've promised you never would but why do I feel like I am being?

When I look ahead I can't see anything, when I try to breathe in some air I choke, when I try to walk I find myself falling into the unknown; what words can describe the sensation of feeling alone; I look at the psalms and I find so many that may have gone through times like these, and none of them understood why... I have been seeking a reaction to all this hell, my knees tremble, my voice fades away, my vision blurs, and my spirit dies at each second literally but in the middle of all this I find a prayer of an afflicted man. When he is faint and pours out his lament before His God and beyond my knowledge with whatever I can find in me to call faith I try to believe what my voice barely conceives...

"
He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea.
Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the LORD :

"The LORD looked down from his sanctuary on high, from heaven he viewed the earth,
to hear the groans of the prisoners and release those condemned to death." Psalm 102:17-20

God, it has been written for me; I am that future generation, I had not yet been created and it says that you heard my groans; then if this is true I claim it to happen in my life so that I can write this to a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise You; Don't let these be words in a book... hear me Yahweh...

Let me not lose them...

"Find my hidden diamonds..." . That's the word I heard, the covenant that was blown over my life. To find diamonds hidden inside each look, each heart, each wounded soul, there's a revelation capable of changing the world of that person. But at the same time I find myself afflicted by a sudden loss of hope, by a strange routine. Why are you so anxious my soul? What has taken away your flame ?

What worth is there in taking steps that go beyond my reach? To move faster than Your spirit in me? I don't want this; Make me move at the rhythm of your heart beat, lead this dance. Every morning when I wake up and take a breath of life, a new revelation is born of your endless Mercy. A hope that you might receive the Glory that you deserve today, and that Christ might so be revealed as the Hope of such Glory.

Let me not lose diamonds that have already been found; let me understand that one step with you is better than one step for you. I want to walk with You, my holy desire; and not simply find my life lost in a routine of conceiving ideas and doing things for some god.

One step at a time, here I am...

convinced...

My Love, everyday I have learned some more about Your eternal Love for me, and when I turn my eyes towards me I realize how filled with flaws is the love that tries to come forth from my emotions. Without a doubt the hardest part of loving is to let go of yourself, to understand that there are no conditions in the unconditional and no chains in freedom. Observations that might appear to be obvious but that reveal to be far more challenging than their own definitions.

These past few days I have been thinking about my feelings and this love that flows from me to the world and people in my life. How can I truly love them? Or should I ask more, how can I love myself in such a way that I will sincerely and unconditionally love them?

I have found that the source of all these questions becomes the answer itself when I turn my face back to You. When I love you, with my failing love and express my heart. I'm captured by a knowledge that goes deeper into Your Glory where unconditional is bounded to eternal, and Love takes form and meaning in You. I'm convinced that only when I love you and surrender to such love, the reservoirs are broken and Your Redeeming Grace makes me look at me and love me and so love the world around me. Through your eyes I find a new perspective that takes me higher and brings forth fruits of repentance due to your unspeakable Goodness.

So come Holy Spirit and hold me to this point of Glory where the revelations of who You are, are acts of worship that flow from a surrendered heart. Thirsty and Desperate I find myself to be embraced by this Love and Grace. That this wanting in my soul arise a holy hunger that boils in me.

My soul, my spirit longs to see you, to see your Kingdom fulfilled. To kiss and embrace my Only Beloved. Longs to be with the one that blows the flame in my heart. How do I wait and how much do I love for this day, to know you in my intimacy.

Today I can say once again, if you are reading this, I love you, whoever you may be, because I am loved; maybe not the love that we have been said to be in our lives and minds, but I love you for you are a fruit of God's Love, a miracle of creation.

I love you...

Papa, take me...

How do I express in words a cry that burns and consumes me; I have been captured by a joy that shines more than any tear, with a hunger to pursue and know You; My desire today is that I can hear of your fame, of your shining light, that You may come and conquer me with Your Love, reach me with Your Grace, renew me with Your Hope. Pour out your overwhelming Goodness that drives me to repentance; Rest and be at peace my soul, bow before Your only King, Your only Lover, Your Savior.

My heart is exploding, longing to be with You and the more I seek you the more I want, but more distant I find myself to be because you become so much greater, so much more inviting; I find myself but then I get lost once again; blow the flames of the deep places inside of me, feed the fire with your air; Sing a song to my spirit like the cricket sings to the night, never ending constant and peaceful, that holds a message of fellowship and unity. Hope and Love of my life;

Happy Birthday Daddy, I am your gift today;

oú est toi?

I miss her...Words will never be able to put it out; I miss being able to sit down and look at her. But now, she is a star in the sky, a new bracelet around my wrist, a new prayer every night. My heart is to bless, to honor, to serve, but never to hold back in whatever she feels as to do, with or without an answer; One day I know I'll be able to express not with a writing, or a simple conversation, but with my life what is this passion that drives me, what is this feeling that no language can describe.

But I also know it's not time; There still is a process to be done in me and in her life, there still are things that have to be taken away from my heart, I still need to be molded, crushed, remade. I wait for Your time Papa, for Your voice. Help me not to be deluded, deceived to a different path by things that could erode my love and passion. Allow my soul to rest in your green fields, knowing that you are preparing that beautiful day when we'll be together; whoever she may be...

God's School

Ever since coming back from Mozambique I have been asking God what is this season going to look like. What is it that He has in store for me, and honestly I haven't heard anything; but He has printed in me an extreme peace that reassures me that He is in control. I have been feeling a new season where I am called to raise foundations and build strong bases, upon which my life is going to be edified. These next few months I want to lift up Godly revelations that have been planted inside of me and mature them so that I can learn in what I call the God School; now that I have faced the school of men, Holy Spirit wants to embrace me and take me now to a season where more than ever He will be my guide and my teacher and he will show me the revelations that I am to shine to the world around me. I am learning to be humbled, the meaning of a repentance that is fruit of God's goodness, the fruits of a lifestyle of being constantly broken and remade by His Love, where His mercies are renewed every single morning. Learning what it means to breathe in His air, to breathe in Holy Spirit; learning from my Lover...

come to the other side...

A few days ago I heard a voice in my spirit saying: "I am blowing a wind from the east to the west; follow the wind..." I didn't understand what it meant so I kept on praying, but no other words came to my heart. Yesterday I was at a youth camp with over 1000 people worshiping Him and finding out how much more worth there is in living before Him and celebrating Him than in Carnival and feeding our flesh. And suddenly someone read a passage that grasped my heart and made me understand what does the wind blowing to the west means...

In Exodus chapter 3, it starts by saying that Moses went to the west side of the desert, to the other side of the desert. And there he had his experience with God; So in my spirit I started hearing:"I am blowing the wind, come to the other side..." and what I have been feeling is that God has been calling me to take a step to the west side of the desert, to come with Him to the other side around the mount and go into a season of new experiences with Him. In Luke 8:22, Jesus asks his disciples to go with him to the other side of the lake; and there he not only brought liberty but also raised up a new evangelist, a new testimony to the World of what His love is capable of doing;

Come to the other side; I am blowing my wind...

pursuing Home...

It has been a long time since I've written anything. Coming back and going through the process of adjusting to my normal life hasn't been as smooth as I thought I'd be; Everyday I face new challenges and new situations that awaken parts of my heart that I wasn't aware of before. I can't remember the number of times I've sat before my computer and thought about what to write or how to put into words all the things that have been happening in my heart and life.

I've been discovering every day new facets of who God is, and how my life has been made to walk forward while I'm on my knees; whenever I turn to God in my spirit it's possible to hear the sounds that the angels hear, to feel the wind that the angels feel, to see the eyes of a God who is Love Himself; but why do I not focus? why do I turn away from him? But every morning His mercies and Grace have been made new; and I found myself with no words, lost in the middle of the mess called me, but at the same time dependent on One for the air I breathe and for the purpose to live one more day, pursuing Home once again;

"Home exists Paulo. You now know that, and your heart will always know... Home exists..."

I have found...

During these last few months I have understood and discovered within me what it means to experience the Living word of God; each sentence, each expression from The Book has come alive and I realize that there's no other option besides going ahead towards the One who has captured my heart with a glimpse of the Love that overflows from His eyes.

I have found that my hunger has a name and that my passion has a face; that my life has a unique purpose; But so a question comes to me that how can I live this Love? I have felt like a tornado in me that pulls me and consumes my being, like a fire that draws me from where I am to my knees; how can I dare not to believe?

I have learned what it means to be son, what it means to be adopted, what it means to become more alike the most Desired of my soul; All of this because I have found the true never ending Life that exists in death, in denying who I am and choosing to become who Christ has said I am.

I have felt and found that all my life is a fruit of an intimate relationship that I have searched out to have with you. May our intimacy be the string that conducts the rhythm of our dance of Love and may You always be the onethat takes the next step;

Let me shine like the sky of Mozambique...