for a future generation...

"Hear my prayer, O LORD; let my cry for help come to you.
Do not hide your face from me when I am in distress. Turn your ear to me; when I call, answer me quickly.

For my days vanish like smoke;my bones burn like glowing embers.
My heart is blighted and withered like grass; I forget to eat my food.
Because of my loud groaning I am reduced to skin and bones.
I am like a desert owl, like an owl among the ruins.
I lie awake; I have become like a bird alone on a roof.

All day long my enemies taunt me; those who rail against me use my name as a curse.
For I eat ashes as my food and mingle my drink with tears
because of your great wrath, for you have taken me up and thrown me aside.
My days are like the evening shadow; I wither away like grass. " Psalm 102:1-12

The hardest challenge that one can face is not the lack of money or any other needs, believe me I've been going through a whole set of things that I've been lacking and needs that aren't been met but when I look at all of them there's nothing that hurts my heart more than God's absence; or my inability to feel Him; I cry out for just one touch, one glimpse, one answer, hear my cry Yahweh! but all I see is darkness, and all the circumstances in my life point the other way; I try to find an answer but nothing fits and I cry why? I try to reach for a Hope that today is lost in my heart believing that maybe soon it'll stand renewed; but I desperately need him to look to me, don'f forsake me holy spirit; You've promised you never would but why do I feel like I am being?

When I look ahead I can't see anything, when I try to breathe in some air I choke, when I try to walk I find myself falling into the unknown; what words can describe the sensation of feeling alone; I look at the psalms and I find so many that may have gone through times like these, and none of them understood why... I have been seeking a reaction to all this hell, my knees tremble, my voice fades away, my vision blurs, and my spirit dies at each second literally but in the middle of all this I find a prayer of an afflicted man. When he is faint and pours out his lament before His God and beyond my knowledge with whatever I can find in me to call faith I try to believe what my voice barely conceives...

"
He will respond to the prayer of the destitute; he will not despise their plea.
Let this be written for a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise the LORD :

"The LORD looked down from his sanctuary on high, from heaven he viewed the earth,
to hear the groans of the prisoners and release those condemned to death." Psalm 102:17-20

God, it has been written for me; I am that future generation, I had not yet been created and it says that you heard my groans; then if this is true I claim it to happen in my life so that I can write this to a future generation, that a people not yet created may praise You; Don't let these be words in a book... hear me Yahweh...