the silence of love...

I have finally bought the flight ticket to Mozambique. I have 5 more days until I leave towards the unknown. What is most amazing about the whole process of getting here is how empty I feel inside and unworthy. Unworthy of being gracefully blessed with some people around me, with blessings and favor from God. I have learned to listen to God in the silence of his voice.

You know what it feels like when you have a dream and desperately seek God above everything and everyone in your life and when you come before Him to hear his voice, you hear nothing but the beat of your heart? God, where are you? Why does it seem like you've forsaken me? And in truth it wasn't the beat of my heart I was listening to, but the beat of His heart, but I was oblivious to the fact that if I want to follow his voice anywhere I have to taste the sweetness of His silent words, or His breath. Understand how hard but overwhelmingly fulfilling it can be to walk not seeing anything or hearing anything but following a word that was given to you years ago; that is what God has been doing to me and little by little when I start realizing and noticing that the sound of His heart was what I was hearing all this time I start also seeing His hands moving once again and those smalls beats turn into melodies that are so sweet; So sweet that I can only fathom such sweetness after spending time in silence.

I today understand better that if my Jesus was silent with me it was only because He wanted me to truly know it was His voice that I was hearing. He wanted me to taste the honey of His words when they came and feel in my innermost how much He loves me.

"shuuuu..be silence my beloved. I want you to hear My Heart."